The things I do for Solidarity, eh readers? I was asked (well, I voulenteered) to review Skins, the new teen drama from E4 (the yoof digital channel from Channel 4). I sat down in front of the telly with a tin of cider, ready for the televisual delights that the trailers and promos plastered on Channel 4 and E4 promised me. Halfway though, I was curled up in a ball, knawing away at my fist in terror and fright, and at some point near the end, I just couldn’t take it anymore and switched over to an old repeat of Most Haunted on ftn.
Yes, it was that bad. The said trailers for Skins promised me a wicked concotion of Hollyoaks and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells. Now, I absolutely hate Hollyoaks; most soap operas (Eastenders and Corrie are execptions) are based in a bubble of middle class life, which instantly turns me off – hey, if I want middle class gubbins, there’s the Daily Mail for that, but most of it is just rubbish, frankly. Hollyoaks more so; that programme is probably the worse advert for middle class life ever, only slightly surpassed by Dawson’s Creek, or probably the OC. (Bear in mind that, despite the fact that I’m sounding like a grumpy old fart, I’m only 21 years old and thus in the audience demographics for such programmes.)
Anyway. This is supposed to be a review of Skins, right? Except, when it comes to cultural reviews, the best time to write them is straight afterwards so you remember most of it; but I’ve procratinated on this review in the hope that I delete the entire memory from my mind, and because I didn’t take notes (who does?) I’ve forgotten half of what actually happened. Thankfully.
In any case, there is very little to recommend of Skins. I know most drama is supposed to be a flight of fancy, and that it’s just a story, but Skins claims that this is somewhat based upon real life, as if all teenagers handle unpaid for drugs and have the mafia on their backs, and it all ends in hilarious consequences. No, no it bloody well doesn’t. Don’t pay for drugs? You get shot, that’s what happens. As if white middle class teenagers would go near Mr Big; they’d probably just get on the phone to their deelah and would go nowhere near guns.
Look, not only is it as flat as, well, something that’s very flat – Norfolk, say – it’s also a gigantic lie. This is not what teenage life is about, and even when you take into account that it is a drama after all, it’s still rubbish. I wouldn’t mind if they said before the promo started. “you are about to be lied to, on a grand scale, but there’s some totty, too” (I’m not being sexist here, they really do pile it on) because then I would know what to expect. Neither was I expecting Ken Loach’s take on modern teenage life, either, but Skins is just one flight of fancy too far, given that they sold it on realism, as if what it portrays is actually how teenagers live.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the comissioning meeting for Skins went something like this:
Exec 1: Guys, guys, we need a new yoof programme, yeah? Something the kids will watch, that’s hip, that’s now.
Exec 2: Well, we need some eye candy…
Exec 1: OK, OK, hot teenagers, right – I think we have some left over from Hollyoaks. Should we put a story line about drugs in there?
Exec 3: Oh, yes, of course, Tarquin. The kids are all on drugs.
Exec 2: And joyriding, of course. And happy-slapping…
Exec 1: Oh, keep up, happy slapping is sooooo last year…
Exec 2: Look, I think we’ve got it sorted. Who’s up for lunch?
What is a real shame is that they said it was from “the people who made Shameless”. What a horrible, horrible slur; the fact that “the people who made Shameless” could mean anything (same production company, same director, same writer, same channel…) is one thing, but Shameless is a masterstroke of comedy and drama, it accuratly represents the people it claims to represent. It says it’s set in Manchester and you can tell it’s set in Manchester. The characters have a real depth, and there are brilliant lines on a very regular basis. It’s excellent. It’s genius. Skins is not.
OK, so there are some redeeming features. The central characters have some common traits which we can all share, and they did chime with people I knew at school.
Look, if you don’t believe me (and I have a feeling that there will be many of my peers who will no doubt virulently disagree with me) check it out on Thursday nights, 9pm, E4. Fortunatly for me, I have an appointment to have hot needles stuck in my eyes at that time, which, compared to watching Skins again, is a rather appealing prospect.
Now, we’ve already established our disagreement on this particular “issue, but I do feel the need to lodge an “official” comment to your TV slander. Not only do you rinse Skins (a program which, frankly, I though excelled at demonstrating (in an albeit exaggerated and ramatic way) teenage middle class life in a British suburb) but you throw around some casual insults regarding Hollyoaks and….and, Chris, The OC; two of the reasons I even have a tv. I think you’re wrong, especially about the “totty” part (I’m not going to call you a mysogenist again, don’t worry!) becuase what, if not sex and sexuality, is teenage life all about? I know that when I was 16 all the parties I went to revolved around how pissed you could get, how many drugs you could take and how much flesh you could press. I don’t think it was used here in a “sex sells” kinda way, just in a illustrative way of being a hormonaly charged teenager with more mojo than sense.
I wouldn’t know what middle class teenage life is like.
I remember my teenage years with ‘tender contempt’ as the saying goes, and it was *nothing like* it’s portrayed on Skins. So, yeah, I had a circle of friends, and yes, we did drink underage, but it wasn’t anything like that.
Of course, sex is a big part of being a teenager, but Skins went well overboard. I mean, for a start, none of them have spots. Really. They all have perfect skin. It’s just not natural.
Honestly, you’ll be telling me next that you like Dawson’s Creek…
Also, I mentioned the totty because of the way it was sold. They laid it on well too thick.
I’m glad you watched it for me, Kit. Sounds like one real pile of cack. But I’m on the final countdown as a 20-somthing, so I might not’ve got it even if it was decent.
Wasn’t the scripting terrible though? Who swears that much and that badly? Also, since when do your average teenagers steal a Merc and get away with it? A third thing that annoys me, and I’m not being a racist or anything here, is the producers obvious desire to include some racial equality in the show, and so we end up with a black girl, an asian boy, and a gay boy. and none of them contribute anything! Just seems like a desperate attempt for political correctness, and that they’d cast it. realised what they’d done and said “oh bollocks, we should sort that out. can we write in some completely characterless people so that everyone can be happy and there’s no way anyone can complain? we can? oh brilliant, lets do that.”
The one main thing that annoyed me was you are given no real insight into the characters at all, so were are left to believe that ‘all-grown-up-lad-from-about-a-boy” is cool? his dad is Harry Enfield for God sake.
I have watched all four episode nows…. and the fact that you folks obviously havent. goes to show how inept you are…. comments like “the producers obvious desire to include some racial equality in the show, and so we end up with a black girl, an asian boy, and a gay boy. and none of them contribute anything! ” go to show your lack of vision when introducing an new program. after seening the second eppisode you would have noticed that it focused on a different charecter from the group. the subject focus changes in each episode, with the previouse weeks charecter become part of the side line.
whats most noticable about this show is that it covers youth cultre in a somonewhat truthfull light, if not a little dramatised. last nights episode focused on a new charecter who up untill tat point had oly been on the fringe of the series. its was very unbiased, didnt take things to far, and certanly didn’t glamorise drug use.
far to many of yo have given up because you didnt like the tony the first charecter, which is fine … he is a knob, that how his charecter was written. subsequent cherecters are completly difrent and there is plenty of room for us all to oempathise with one or two.
its very well shot and is extremly funny in parts. to dismiss programmes as easily as you lot have done just meana that you’ll not be able to enjoy the rest of the series as i will ….
you have been told !!
Huffy
Hello Huffy,
I don’t see how I, or any of the commentators, have been told anything apart from what you think. Apart from which, it’s just not polite; I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, but let’s be civil, eh?
Firstly, it’s quite clear that the commentators in this discussion (with the exception of AVPS Phil, who says so) have actually watched Skins. Just because you disagree with us, doesn’t mean we haven’t actually watched it.
You happen to think ‘Skins’ is a good TV programme. I happened to disagree, but it doesn’t mean I am wrong, especially that the subject in hand is a TV programme. It’s a matter of taste. I hated it. You liked it. Sun rise, sun set, etc.
I personally agree with Bojangles when they question the insertion of technic characters. A lot of Skins relies upon cliches or such trends in order to make it relevant, hence the bit about the comissioning meeting in the original review.
I don’t think Skins glamourisies drug use, but again the way they portrayed it – stolen drugs? Stolen cars? Middle class white kids? Hello? It was a stream of uninterrupted bollocks. That’s not how many middle class white teens spend their time. I spent my mid teens hanging out with my mates getting pissed. We certainly didn’t go around in stolen cars handling stolen drugs.
Well shot? If that ‘Steady’cam wobbled about any more, I would have been sea sick. For fuck’s sake, the camera operator couldn’t operate a Steadycam to save their life. Granted there are some funny parts but they are few and far between, and not exactly side-splitting, more smirk-worthy.
I think we also get the concept of characters being written to be unlikeable. It’s the entire scripting which I have a problem with.
Ah mate,watch a few episodes,i admit the first one was shit with the choir singing tosser but it gets better every week.u want realism watch corrie,4 entertainment watch skins.the episode with chris and the hippy in his bath was the funniest thing i’ve seen in ages.shameless was good for a series but its crap now,maybe cos karen is’nt flashing her ass anymore,but can’t be bothered to watch it anymore.